Rick Wagoner. The GM guy. ULTIMATE TOOL/
DIAF, GM.
Long Live Ford!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
NEWSFLASH!
This just in.
In case you missed the first 9,586,782 memos, Rush Limbaugh is a bloated sack of shit. Film at 11.
Jesus H. Christ. Are you watching Baba Wawa (cuz you were doing other things and left the tee vee on and whatevs)? GOD he is Such. A. Goddamned. Ass. Hat. It makes me want to f*cking STRANGLE him.
Yuck. Dickhead. For all my Hindus in the house, can I get an AMEN when I surmise that Rush is coming back as one or more of the following, next time around?
(Shit Rush Lamebag might return as, in the afterlife):
-toe jam
-traffic
-petrochemical pollutant
-chicken sponge after three days in the trash (oohhh, THAT SMELL)
-storm clouds
-auto-damaging hail
-yeast infection
-diverticulitis
-cellulite
-halitosis
-vaginosis (duh)
-leftover cooter stew you left in your car / in August / for 3 months
-tainted blood transfusion
-dental surgery
-anal fissures
-glass shard in one's eyeball
-infected wound / oozing pus
-skid mark
-stench of rotten corpse
-murder scene
-road kill
-temper tantrums
-President Jenna Bush
-Vice President Sean Hannity
-Secretary of State Bill O'The Clown
-the douche that drives wicked fast through a deep puddle, splashing the shiat out of you with stank assed, dirty city water. Cold water.
-drunken molesting uncle breath
-angry mean step mother scream
I could go on. But now Baba Wawa is talking about the pregnant man - and THIS shit I have to see. Are you farking kidding me>?!?>>!> (ok, right off the bat - THAT IS NOT A GUY - that's a broad who get a peener). DUH.
In case you missed the first 9,586,782 memos, Rush Limbaugh is a bloated sack of shit. Film at 11.
Jesus H. Christ. Are you watching Baba Wawa (cuz you were doing other things and left the tee vee on and whatevs)? GOD he is Such. A. Goddamned. Ass. Hat. It makes me want to f*cking STRANGLE him.
Yuck. Dickhead. For all my Hindus in the house, can I get an AMEN when I surmise that Rush is coming back as one or more of the following, next time around?
(Shit Rush Lamebag might return as, in the afterlife):
-toe jam
-traffic
-petrochemical pollutant
-chicken sponge after three days in the trash (oohhh, THAT SMELL)
-storm clouds
-auto-damaging hail
-yeast infection
-diverticulitis
-cellulite
-halitosis
-vaginosis (duh)
-leftover cooter stew you left in your car / in August / for 3 months
-tainted blood transfusion
-dental surgery
-anal fissures
-glass shard in one's eyeball
-infected wound / oozing pus
-skid mark
-stench of rotten corpse
-murder scene
-road kill
-temper tantrums
-President Jenna Bush
-Vice President Sean Hannity
-Secretary of State Bill O'The Clown
-the douche that drives wicked fast through a deep puddle, splashing the shiat out of you with stank assed, dirty city water. Cold water.
-drunken molesting uncle breath
-angry mean step mother scream
I could go on. But now Baba Wawa is talking about the pregnant man - and THIS shit I have to see. Are you farking kidding me>?!?>>!> (ok, right off the bat - THAT IS NOT A GUY - that's a broad who get a peener). DUH.
Oh you know it's Thursday night when...
...after a long, hard day at work and on the rails, you come home, pour a glass of wine, throw in a load of dishes and laundry and then hit the can for a few minutes peace when your two year old decides to throw the MOTHER OF ALL TEMPER TANTRUMS outside the bathroom door. And I mean, DIRECTLY OUTSIDE the bathroom door.
OMFG - normally, I would have died of an anneurism by now, but since I'm no longer PMSing, I am actually kind of finding this funny. She's farking SCREAMING at the top of her lungs, the husband and the older child are mercilessly mocking her, we're ALL laughing and I know, I just KNOW, that this moment will be relived on a shrink's couch over and over and over again, probably on MY F*CKING DIME.
I love my family. The only thing keeping those jackals out of here is well, the pervasive scent of burnt doll head / petroleum distillates / poop. There, I said it.
(yay! she's winding down!!! now you KNOW, since I put my ONE pair of jeans in the laundry a little while ago, that the moment she crashes out for real will be the very moment I need to put them in the dryer - and I will be faced with the age-old quandry of "do I enter the sleeping child's room because tomorrow is Friday and I MUST wear my jeans to work, or do I forsake my comfort for the greater good of the planet and not wake the demon?".
Jesus. She's winding up for round two. And I'm almost done. Oh help me lord jesus in your golden fleece diaper...all 6 pounds 2 ounces....
OMFG - normally, I would have died of an anneurism by now, but since I'm no longer PMSing, I am actually kind of finding this funny. She's farking SCREAMING at the top of her lungs, the husband and the older child are mercilessly mocking her, we're ALL laughing and I know, I just KNOW, that this moment will be relived on a shrink's couch over and over and over again, probably on MY F*CKING DIME.
I love my family. The only thing keeping those jackals out of here is well, the pervasive scent of burnt doll head / petroleum distillates / poop. There, I said it.
(yay! she's winding down!!! now you KNOW, since I put my ONE pair of jeans in the laundry a little while ago, that the moment she crashes out for real will be the very moment I need to put them in the dryer - and I will be faced with the age-old quandry of "do I enter the sleeping child's room because tomorrow is Friday and I MUST wear my jeans to work, or do I forsake my comfort for the greater good of the planet and not wake the demon?".
Jesus. She's winding up for round two. And I'm almost done. Oh help me lord jesus in your golden fleece diaper...all 6 pounds 2 ounces....
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Ode to the Loo
Were I to tell you
you would not believe me -
But alas, tis true,
that despite it's solid composition
whiz has conquered the loo.
Even one of average intelligence
might logically surmise
that such a metal box as this,
would surely be unmolested!
Left wholly unaffected!
...yet ye would be surprised
that the plastic, glass and metal sheath'ed
watercloset for the masses
falls prey to the slings and arrows
of the urine and the gasses.
I heart you, at times, Shiny Metal Box.
you would not believe me -
But alas, tis true,
that despite it's solid composition
whiz has conquered the loo.
Even one of average intelligence
might logically surmise
that such a metal box as this,
would surely be unmolested!
Left wholly unaffected!
...yet ye would be surprised
that the plastic, glass and metal sheath'ed
watercloset for the masses
falls prey to the slings and arrows
of the urine and the gasses.
I heart you, at times, Shiny Metal Box.
WOW!!!!
Wow, do the politicians in this country disappoint the living SHIAT out of me. Just sayin'.
To the auto companies: the Gubminties should tell the auto cos, especially GM (first and foremost) to go pound some SERIOUS salt. We saw THIRTY YEARS ago how screwed up the oil crap was and was surely going to be.. THIRTY YEARS they've had to revamp / retool / rethink. And what did they do? NOTHING. They decided instead to RE-TARD. That's right, they went FULL RETARD on this crap. And now they're doing Round II (in their plebe-mobiles....WAKE UP CALL - that's the shit we drive to work / school / birth / death in EVERY DAMN DAY, you damn bag of CHUMPS), remaking Mr. Dipstick Goes to Washington. Yep, Mr. Dipstick(s) go to Washington - this time in their commoner cars (versus their private gotdamned JETS, asshats!) with their hands out, grovelling for a piece of the taxpayer pie. "Wahh, bail us out!! WAHHHHHHH".
Hey nozzles! Guess what?? We're BROKE! And why? In part, because oil went up AGAIN to psychotic levels - $4 and $5 a GALLON!?!?!?!? And it made the price of EVERYTHING go up - food, clothes, supplies, things we actually NEED. Thanks SOOOOOOOO much for gargline the petro-gawk for the last 30 years, when you COULD have been oh, I dunno, NOT BEING RETARDED and say, maybe thought about FIXING THINGS. I know that's not profitable though, so I guess I sorta understand. Or I don't. Perhaps you can infer from my tone that I'm being perhaps just a little facetious here. Oh, and DIAF.
And now on Maddow, we have this ULTRA-ASSHAT Big 3 Lobbyist Apologist piece of crap whargarbling about some shit I've already forgotten. yargh.
Bring on Uncle Pat! I'm having a existentially-political crisis.
To the auto companies: the Gubminties should tell the auto cos, especially GM (first and foremost) to go pound some SERIOUS salt. We saw THIRTY YEARS ago how screwed up the oil crap was and was surely going to be.. THIRTY YEARS they've had to revamp / retool / rethink. And what did they do? NOTHING. They decided instead to RE-TARD. That's right, they went FULL RETARD on this crap. And now they're doing Round II (in their plebe-mobiles....WAKE UP CALL - that's the shit we drive to work / school / birth / death in EVERY DAMN DAY, you damn bag of CHUMPS), remaking Mr. Dipstick Goes to Washington. Yep, Mr. Dipstick(s) go to Washington - this time in their commoner cars (versus their private gotdamned JETS, asshats!) with their hands out, grovelling for a piece of the taxpayer pie. "Wahh, bail us out!! WAHHHHHHH".
Hey nozzles! Guess what?? We're BROKE! And why? In part, because oil went up AGAIN to psychotic levels - $4 and $5 a GALLON!?!?!?!? And it made the price of EVERYTHING go up - food, clothes, supplies, things we actually NEED. Thanks SOOOOOOOO much for gargline the petro-gawk for the last 30 years, when you COULD have been oh, I dunno, NOT BEING RETARDED and say, maybe thought about FIXING THINGS. I know that's not profitable though, so I guess I sorta understand. Or I don't. Perhaps you can infer from my tone that I'm being perhaps just a little facetious here. Oh, and DIAF.
And now on Maddow, we have this ULTRA-ASSHAT Big 3 Lobbyist Apologist piece of crap whargarbling about some shit I've already forgotten. yargh.
Bring on Uncle Pat! I'm having a existentially-political crisis.
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