God, I love this dude.
"To put [the undecided voters] in perspective, I think of being on an airplane. The flight attendant comes down the aisle with her food cart and, eventually, parks it beside my seat. 'Can I interest you in the chicken?” she asks. “Or would you prefer the platter of shit with bits of broken glass in it?'."
Farkin' GOLD, Jerry!!
http://www.newyorker.com/humor/2008/10/27/081027sh_shouts_sedaris?currentPage=1
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
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9 comments:
I love David Sedaris, but in this case he is making the same error as others who take easy shots at we "undecideds," mistaking thinking about the election (which, by definition, undecideds are still doing) with not thinking about it (which decided voters need to do less of, having already made up their minds). Anyone interested in what a real, live undecided voter is thinking about can visit a blog I created (www.undecidedman.com) and see if there is still more to talk about than chicken vs. sh*t sandwiches.
Once upon a time, there was a charismatic and eloquent young leader who decided his nation needed a change and that he was the one to implement it. The people were receptive and ready for change.
He spoke passionately when denouncing the existing system and the media loved him. Nobody questioned what he believed in or who his friends were. He would help the poor and bring free medical care and education to all. He would bring justice and equality. He said I am for hope and change, and I will bring you both. Few people bothered to ask about the change, and by the time the executioner’s guns went silent, all personal firearms had been confiscated, along with most personal freedoms.
When everyone was finally equal, they were (and are) equally poor, hungry and miserable. Their free education was (and is) all but worthless. Their free and universal health care was (and remains) a travesty. When the change was fully implemented, the country had been reduced to Third World status. More than a million people fled in small boats and rafts.
The charismatic young leader was Fidel Castro; the nation is Cuba.
The citizens of the United States would never fall for a charismatic, eloquent young leader who promises hope and change without asking, “what kind of change, and how much will it cost us?” – would we?
Matt,
Whoever you are, get a fuckin' life. I'm a libertarian, you douche-bag, and I watched your video on the USSA. While there are shreds of truth in it, it makes several factually suspect incendiary statements both about Obama and the Dems. I hate the Dems but this anti-American, Rovian, fascist shit the neo-con right consistently spews is downright Nazi-esque. They're all crooks - both parties - but the shit you spew only stokes the fires even more, especially considering the majority of it is pure crap.
yeah, Obama = Castro.
Wow. Love you man, but W-O-W. For reals? I'm gonna hope you were maybe just playing devil's advocate, because if you actually buy that shit, you a) have lost your mind, b) haven't done ANY research into the two men running for president. None. I'm gonna stop there. And hope that set of sentiments is perhaps farcical / satirical / etc., versus the truly creepy possibility that they aren't.
:-) thats awesome. dun.
Hey Quantum... ez killa. You don't know the 1st or 2nd thang about me and where im coming from. Serially blogger, I think now - Sick of It All/ Tubble maker? Sure. I however do have a very good sense of where your going. Now get back to class. Biatch.
Matt,
Um. OK, so where *am* I going? I'd certainly love to know.
Not sure I get sentence number 2 there in your comment.
Anyway, who knows, maybe you don't believe that crap, but it's fascist Nazi bullshit and you certainly didn't clarify "where you were coming from." Was it wrong of me to assume? Probably, but that shit wasn't even devil's advocate kind of stuff so, without clarification from you, I stand by my original statement.
Now go stick that giant red, white, and blue dick a little further up your ass while you're at it. I can't see the tip yet.
yur so harsh mister. i would prefer if you did not reference my "giant red, white, and blue dick" any further in your inert ramblings. I just won't be able to sleep at night knowing you despise me so. tears. and why should i clarify my stance when this is all so hysterical... maybe a hysterical classification? maybe. Now get back to class.
WOW - what the fuck? you know, I'm bout to get the hose out on you biatches. LISSEN - it's a brand new fuckin OBAMA kind of world now - HUG IT OUT BITCHES or I will ban the shit out of you!!!!
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