The American Nightmare

Whilst watching my favorite channel this morning (NECN, just about the only station that ever has anything remotely decent and/or devoid of SUCK), a story came on about the freakish hell that is the foreclosure crisis. It got me thinkin'....

I just love the folks who love to pontificate on how the entire crisis can be directly attributed to "idiots who bought more house than they could afford". Here's to you, Mr. Amateur Economic Genius Guy, thank GOD we have you and your barely-passing 8th grade algebra to sort it all out for us!!! Your keen perception of the situation (in no uncertain terms) tells the world that you're an ignorant, uninformed IDIOT who prefers to make sweeping generalizations on broad, complex issues in order to wrap it up into a tight little package (so as to be easily understood by anyone with a double-digit IQ). Remember this, donkey-hump: There but for some dumb luck goeth YOU. Guess you're one of those spiffy fortunate folks to whom nothing bad happens. Ever. So here's to you, Mr. Armchair Economic Genius Guy!

The level of TARD exhibited by the banks is staggering. Instead of working something out with homeowners before it's too late, they've consistently maintained their death-grip on the archaic paradigms of yesteryear. The guys who come in to "secure" a property? They have to get approval for doing really obvious, simple crap like boarding up a house left unsecured and/or broken into. They have to get an OK from the bank to secure a vacant property. Since it takes the bank eons to get their shiat together, what with all the useless meetings, hierarchical structures, "investors" they have to get the OK from (and by "investors", I mean the completely and totally disconnected chumps owning random pieces of a mortgage note which had been essentially pureed and scattered into the wind), a property will sit vacant for weeks, months - yep, even years. Then the vandalism starts. First, windows get broken. Then animals and squatters come in. And they poop. And pee. A LOT. Add into the mix those delightful souls whose part-time gig is to steal your damn plumbing. Yep, they come in, they cut the pipes and off to the scrap yard they go! So, by the time some overburdened loss-mit person FINALLY gets the OK from the gaggle of higher-ups at the bank, the property has been trashed. In most cases, had the homeowner been allowed to remain in the property while the financial aspects were worked out, this idiocy could have been avoided, the property would have at very least remained livable, and, barring the unlikely event of an actual buyer at a foreclosure sale, could remain occupied. But OHHHHH NO. Nope - get those deadbeats out!! Get 'em out, because there are people lined the frick up down the block to buy this awesomely outdated, badly in need of repairs, piece of crap house!! And the buyers have buckets of cash - they're so very desperate to buy, buy, buy because you see, there's so little on the market! It's terribly competitive out there, what, with virtually nothing for sale and golly, even less up on the auction block!

No, let's just get the occupants out, tell them to go pound sand and flip that place for big bucks. Or pennies on the dollar. Kick them out as soon as possible, because you really want to give the criminals, vandals, meth cookers and vermin time to do as much damage as possible to the vacant property. At least then you can file an insurance claim and profit from that, right? (I'm willing to bet there is more of this going on at the present time than anyone would even be able to imagine - kinda strange how all of these big insurance companies are in the shiatter too, eh?).

Ah, what the hell do *I* know, eh?