At the WOOT OFF!
OMG, I wicked HEART the WOOTOFF. For the REALZ. If you click on TEH WOOT and you don't see crazy flashing lights not unlike the Drudge RPt, then the WOOT OFF hath endeth. If, though, you see the lights (ah dun seen the light!), it's WOOOOO WOOOOTOFF time -watch and enjoy!
cutie patootey!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
I feel a great disturbance in the force. Do You?
I have a general sense of ... something. Malaise? Unrest? Discord? Reverberation of some bizarro world angst?
Send me some good vibes or share your tale of "wtf?"
Send me some good vibes or share your tale of "wtf?"
Monday, November 17, 2008
Shiny Metal Box: The Chronic (11-17edition)
It's one of those friggin' days where everything is agg-avatin'the SHIAT out of me. I am, of course, sitting on the rolling shiat mobile I somewhat lovingly call home for 3 hrs a day, marvelling over how f*ckin NOT on-time this damn train is, consistently, and just generally being surly. Even the scotch doesn't taste that good tonight. Must be PMS. Or maybe just the ass-grind that this all is. Still, though, I'm thankful to have a job, at this point. Found out that a firm I used to work at had layoffs last week - Jesus H. Chriskringlestein, that blows.
Ahhhh, I like my electronic chronic. OK, it's not chronic at all, but i does deliver the nicotine and for that I'm grateful. Had a nice, cold, semi-palatable turkey sangwich, and am now working on scotch #2 an suffering from the hurty knees, the scratchy throat and the general ennui that colors my life. Ah, what to do? I suppose I should be very, VERY thankful that I do not live in SoCal -- what, wth all the shiat burning the fark down and all. YIKERS!
Oh and now the free wifi is shiatting the bed-- you get what you pay for, I guess. Is that why my f*ckin monthly pass is going up by 10% -- which is about the on-time rate for this bucket of bolts? Oh, irony. Or something.
Ahhhh, I like my electronic chronic. OK, it's not chronic at all, but i does deliver the nicotine and for that I'm grateful. Had a nice, cold, semi-palatable turkey sangwich, and am now working on scotch #2 an suffering from the hurty knees, the scratchy throat and the general ennui that colors my life. Ah, what to do? I suppose I should be very, VERY thankful that I do not live in SoCal -- what, wth all the shiat burning the fark down and all. YIKERS!
Oh and now the free wifi is shiatting the bed-- you get what you pay for, I guess. Is that why my f*ckin monthly pass is going up by 10% -- which is about the on-time rate for this bucket of bolts? Oh, irony. Or something.
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Welcome to Tardtown. Population: You!
Whiskey Tango Fuckin' FOXTROT?
Please, comment and tell me what's wrong with this picture. Get drunk first. Think of it as an adult "Where's Dildo" or something, mkay?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
I heart you SO MUCH, Gore Vidal.
It isn't even always about the substance off what he's said. At times, it's the way he says it.
Gore Vidal, you are my hero, my Planet Earth Idol. Your life, your words, your existence have had a profound effect on me, and for that, good sir, I humbly thank you.
Read Gore here. J'adore!
Gore Vidal, you are my hero, my Planet Earth Idol. Your life, your words, your existence have had a profound effect on me, and for that, good sir, I humbly thank you.
Read Gore here. J'adore!
Monday, November 10, 2008
Ho. Lee. Sheeyat. Olbermann's special comment.
[Update: I have a link, I have a transcript, and if you have a pulse / fingers / eyes / ears, you simply MUST You Tewb or Google or whatever tonight's "Special Comment" from Keith Olbermann.
Sweet Jesus on the Cross. It was passionate. Moving. Heartfelt. Quite f*cking AMAZING, truly.
Find it. Watch it. Read it. Share it.
http://thenewshole.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/11/10/1667759.aspx
Sweet Jesus on the Cross. It was passionate. Moving. Heartfelt. Quite f*cking AMAZING, truly.
Find it. Watch it. Read it. Share it.
http://thenewshole.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/11/10/1667759.aspx
Mmmm, smokey!
So, I got this thing, finally! Have to say I wicked dig it!!!
If you smoke and you don't wanna, or you don't wanna so much, you should scrape up the $80 bucks or so for this kit.
It doesn' t particular taste like much, but it definitely curbs / satisfies the nicotine craving and absolute BEST of all, it totally doesn't make your lungs feel like shit. It'll prolly take a while to get past the whole jones for putting a lit fag in your mouth, and you'll miss the burn-y, ash-tray tastic taste of a real cig, but I kinda think this is something I could get used to. One might even say, addicted to!! heh heh.
Quick shipping, good product, wicked easy to use, NO smell, nothing burns, no tar, ashes, stank, etc. You can literally use this anywhere - shit, I sat at my desk in my veal-fattening pen at work and toked on it and no one said shiat about it. How can they? It's akin to a super cool asthma inhaler! Wheeeee! SUCK IT, non-smokers! I can keep my nicotine addiction (which is OOHHHHH so fuckin fun, let me tell you! Kids, hurry up and start smoking - it's a LIFETIME of pleasure!! hack hack, wheeze, brown teeth, wrinkles, coughing up shit - OMG it's SO HAWT!).
Love it. Buy it. You should. Because I said so!
If you smoke and you don't wanna, or you don't wanna so much, you should scrape up the $80 bucks or so for this kit.
It doesn' t particular taste like much, but it definitely curbs / satisfies the nicotine craving and absolute BEST of all, it totally doesn't make your lungs feel like shit. It'll prolly take a while to get past the whole jones for putting a lit fag in your mouth, and you'll miss the burn-y, ash-tray tastic taste of a real cig, but I kinda think this is something I could get used to. One might even say, addicted to!! heh heh.
Quick shipping, good product, wicked easy to use, NO smell, nothing burns, no tar, ashes, stank, etc. You can literally use this anywhere - shit, I sat at my desk in my veal-fattening pen at work and toked on it and no one said shiat about it. How can they? It's akin to a super cool asthma inhaler! Wheeeee! SUCK IT, non-smokers! I can keep my nicotine addiction (which is OOHHHHH so fuckin fun, let me tell you! Kids, hurry up and start smoking - it's a LIFETIME of pleasure!! hack hack, wheeze, brown teeth, wrinkles, coughing up shit - OMG it's SO HAWT!).
Love it. Buy it. You should. Because I said so!
Saturday, November 8, 2008
RIP, GOP as you have come to be.
So I was reading through the comments on this "Rebuild the Party" website, as I'm genuinely curious and perhaps a bit hopeful that something new, strong and most importantly admirable (by MANY, not just the ReFUNDIEcans....) will rise from the ashes of the last eight years, in terms of a political party that embraced the actual tenets of CONSERVATISM and perhaps throttled down some on the Goddy-God-Jesusifying Light Brigade, Rah, Rah, USA! USA! stuff.
Some of the comments on the site form the evidentiary basis for a stark lesson on how to completely a) lose an election (bigtime) and b) destroy a political party.
1. Keep flinging around "librul!!!!" in a pejorative manner! Insulting a huge cross-section of the population, while also employing #2, is a vortex of suck the size of Greenland. That's a continent for you die-hard "mavericks". Instead, call them "Commies"!
2. Adhere to an unyielding sentiment of anti-intellectualism. Because yessiree, being a TARD is just sooooo awesome! It's a truly bankable plan! I suppose it does have it's merits though, you know, for those times when you just don't feel like explaining anything to the dimwits, but you do totally want to pump them full of catchy, empty, virtually meaningless slogans and tell them they're dirty heathen liberal commies if they don't vote for you. Yay dumb!
3. Completely and totally obfuscate the line between church and state, and remember, if someone doesn't love Your Own Personal Brand of Jesus, they must be satan-worshipping, abortion-mandating, baby-eating demons from the pits of hell, right? You betcha! (This one works best in tandem with #4).
4. Low on toilet-paper? Fear not, the Constitution of the United States is here to save you! That's right, get in there real good with that boring old piece of parchment paper. Those Goddamned Libruls encourage everyone to run around naked, on drugs, having wanton sexual escapades with donkeys and multiple partners, while eating birth control pills that they got for free at the local MSNBMedical Clinic!! Take away as many of these utterly blasphemous rights as you can! People are stupid and shouldn't be allowed to do anything. At all! Ever!!
5. Absolutely NEVER stray from your time-tested methods!! Adhere strictly to the old-line tenets (brought to you by those nice churchy folks who hate you, because Jesus told them to - quite a fan of the hate, that wacky Jesus was! Right?) and just work harder at it!! Just try harder using the old and busted selection of tools and tactics - and just pray really, really, really hard that all those pinko sluts will soon be smote for their wicked ways (and also, too, all the ways they differ from you! And from Jesus!). To recap, brown people, heathens, homos, crackies, muslims, jooz, et al. are to remain ostracized from our cabal by our exclusionary, dogmatic, ignorant platform! Only the holiest, most pious, Jesus Loving!! people should be viewed as actual people. Viewing the aforementioned list of undesirables as people (shudder!) is sick and wrong and makes baby Jesus cry.
Some of the comments on the site form the evidentiary basis for a stark lesson on how to completely a) lose an election (bigtime) and b) destroy a political party.
1. Keep flinging around "librul!!!!" in a pejorative manner! Insulting a huge cross-section of the population, while also employing #2, is a vortex of suck the size of Greenland. That's a continent for you die-hard "mavericks". Instead, call them "Commies"!
2. Adhere to an unyielding sentiment of anti-intellectualism. Because yessiree, being a TARD is just sooooo awesome! It's a truly bankable plan! I suppose it does have it's merits though, you know, for those times when you just don't feel like explaining anything to the dimwits, but you do totally want to pump them full of catchy, empty, virtually meaningless slogans and tell them they're dirty heathen liberal commies if they don't vote for you. Yay dumb!
3. Completely and totally obfuscate the line between church and state, and remember, if someone doesn't love Your Own Personal Brand of Jesus, they must be satan-worshipping, abortion-mandating, baby-eating demons from the pits of hell, right? You betcha! (This one works best in tandem with #4).
4. Low on toilet-paper? Fear not, the Constitution of the United States is here to save you! That's right, get in there real good with that boring old piece of parchment paper. Those Goddamned Libruls encourage everyone to run around naked, on drugs, having wanton sexual escapades with donkeys and multiple partners, while eating birth control pills that they got for free at the local MSNBMedical Clinic!! Take away as many of these utterly blasphemous rights as you can! People are stupid and shouldn't be allowed to do anything. At all! Ever!!
5. Absolutely NEVER stray from your time-tested methods!! Adhere strictly to the old-line tenets (brought to you by those nice churchy folks who hate you, because Jesus told them to - quite a fan of the hate, that wacky Jesus was! Right?) and just work harder at it!! Just try harder using the old and busted selection of tools and tactics - and just pray really, really, really hard that all those pinko sluts will soon be smote for their wicked ways (and also, too, all the ways they differ from you! And from Jesus!). To recap, brown people, heathens, homos, crackies, muslims, jooz, et al. are to remain ostracized from our cabal by our exclusionary, dogmatic, ignorant platform! Only the holiest, most pious, Jesus Loving!! people should be viewed as actual people. Viewing the aforementioned list of undesirables as people (shudder!) is sick and wrong and makes baby Jesus cry.
I'm famous! Again!
So, once again, I've made the paper for my long-standing indenture to the DownEaster train! yay!
Glad they didn't put a horrible pic of me in there, and glad they *did* use my patented (tm) line "it's like a bar, if jails had bars" line!
Read all about it here!
oh, and p.s. "Larry" (who said " Sounds great except for the fact it is LOSING MONEY!"), darlin, Amtrak NEVER turns a profit. That's why regular shmoes like me / we can still afford to ride it. (eyeroll)
Glad they didn't put a horrible pic of me in there, and glad they *did* use my patented (tm) line "it's like a bar, if jails had bars" line!
Read all about it here!
oh, and p.s. "Larry" (who said " Sounds great except for the fact it is LOSING MONEY!"), darlin, Amtrak NEVER turns a profit. That's why regular shmoes like me / we can still afford to ride it. (eyeroll)
Friday, November 7, 2008
religuiolous!
You Scored as Confucianism
p.s. and philosophically?
YAY! (these are all at Quizfarm)
You are a follower of the teachings of Confucius, one of the greatest teachers the world has ever seen. It is one of the three Oriental religions in this quiz, and like the other two, has few followers beyond the Orient.
| Confucianism | | 72% |
| Atheist/Agnostic | | 67% |
| Taoism | | 61% |
| Wicca | | 50% |
| Hinduism | | 50% |
| Buddhism | | 50% |
| Islam | | 39% |
| Judaism | | 28% |
| Christianity | | 17% |
p.s. and philosophically?
| Existentialism | | 75% |
| Kantianism | | 65% |
YAY! (these are all at Quizfarm)
Shiny Metal Box: The Chronic
Hi outlandischers! Here I am, reporting from (where else?) the shiny metal box I spend 3 hours a day in. Oh, it's terribly fun! It's Friday night - and you know what that means! Yep! We, the passriders, are herded like cattle into one car (surprisingly, not the baggage car - though you never know), where we are subject to the slings and arrows of both newbie pass riders and interlopers (as I call them) as they try in vain to argue their lame-assed premises - loudly, rudely, angrily - in the conductor's face. Honestly, how much friggin' common sense does it take to fathom that if you see the same people every stinking day, you would be well advised to try t0 dial down your Dewsh quotient. Durrrrrr. And yet, week in and week out, some harpie biatch takes it upon herself to get all shrieky on the regular friday night guy (who takes no shit) thinking it's going to get her somewhere other than stuffed in a f*kckin' luggage rack or worse, locked in the stank-assed pee-soaked latrine. Don't I wish.
Anyway, it's almost 6pm and we're almost in Haverhell, so I'm gonna go get a beeyah or some other form of libation and hit you biatches up lata on, perhaps.
Anyway, it's almost 6pm and we're almost in Haverhell, so I'm gonna go get a beeyah or some other form of libation and hit you biatches up lata on, perhaps.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
The Big Show!
God, this is unreal. Greatest. Show. EVAR!
GOBAMA!
YAY VOTERS!!!!
NEWSFLASH: 538.com calling it for Obama
GOBAMA!
YAY VOTERS!!!!
NEWSFLASH: 538.com calling it for Obama
PensylFucky.
FIRST!
MCFail takes PencilFucky? it's going to be a long fuckin' night.
more as it develops...
LOLZ! Indiana - too close to call. I heart that so much. And Georgia. TCTC - again, hearting that. and VA! LOL. I should stop. Drink more, think less. Be back later...
(LOLZ - WTF? "it's 7:01pm, and all these states are too close to call!!!!111!!ELEVENTY!" - of COURSE it's too fuckin' close to call, DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR - it's SEVEN PEE EM!!!!!)
MCFail takes PencilFucky? it's going to be a long fuckin' night.
more as it develops...
LOLZ! Indiana - too close to call. I heart that so much. And Georgia. TCTC - again, hearting that. and VA! LOL. I should stop. Drink more, think less. Be back later...
(LOLZ - WTF? "it's 7:01pm, and all these states are too close to call!!!!111!!ELEVENTY!" - of COURSE it's too fuckin' close to call, DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR - it's SEVEN PEE EM!!!!!)
God I love the taste of fail in the morning!
I can't farkin WAIT for the results to start coming in OMG. MAN-DATE! Ass kicking! Blowout. Landslide.
Please oh please oh please oh pleeeeeeeeeeze baby jeebus!!?!?!?!?
Brilliantly executed campaign.
Please oh please oh please oh pleeeeeeeeeeze baby jeebus!!?!?!?!?
Brilliantly executed campaign.
And for the GOP (RIP):
Get yer VOTE ON!!!!
I'm at the polling place, in line - it's long, but I just keep feeling like "totally worth it!!!". I'll stand here for either as long as it takes (or until my battery runs out, heh heh!!). This truly feels historic - like finally things hae become insane enough to prompt folks to get out there and take action. I'm stoked!!!
Do whatever you need to do andVOTE!!!!
Do whatever you need to do andVOTE!!!!
Monday, November 3, 2008
Rest in peace, Madelyn Dunham.
Read this first.
Then wonder, how long will it take McFail to try to use this to their advantage? OMG, that was a political trick! To try to play the sympathy card!.
yeah, that's how he comes off, that McFail. Sad but true.
Then wonder, how long will it take McFail to try to use this to their advantage? OMG, that was a political trick! To try to play the sympathy card!.
yeah, that's how he comes off, that McFail. Sad but true.
McSame
Is it just me, or does everything that comes out of that guy's mouth make you squrim as well? He's so very disingenuous. "Drill baby Drill"? For REAL!?!? I just don't get it. The way to achieve independence from foreign oil (read: scary brown people who hate us) is NAWT to fuckin' just try to find MORE OIL on our own soil. JESUS CHRIST! I'm so far from a scientist it's not even funny, but OMG - the way to get off oil (which should just fuckin' HAPPEN already - not becuase I'm a commie pinko piece of shiat, but becuase it's fucking TIME already, WTF?!?!??!) is NOT to just find more oil. It's to (HELLOOOOOOOHHHH) develop technologies that a) achieve our objectives and b) do not use OIL, DURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Do we still use the mighty, glorious IBM selectric? Sure, like 2 or 3 of us who write novels that we hope to someday sell, and we think it's fuckin' rad and old school and crazy to write a novel on an electric typewriter....But by and large, do I go to work and prepare patent applications, forms, etc. with a fuckin' typewriter? oh HELLLS NO!~!! (unless the power is out and I'm at work and something absolutely, positively has to get done and out - but you know, in 7 years of doing this crap, that has NEVER. Happened. Not. Once. (Course there was this one week where nothing worked - we were completely shut off from the electronic age by some virus, blah blah blah..)
Sorry - total ADD moment. Must eat now. Completely ready to fall asleep, haven't eaten today. Yargh.
(like, 15 seconds later)
Hi I'm back. John McCain ANNOYS THE SHIAT OUT OF ME. "My friends"? "Straight talk"??? Your vote for McCain is a vote AGAINST everything, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING that this nation allegedly stands for. Your vote for McCain is a vote for a continuation of the ABJECT FAIL that embodies the entire "Bush" regime (in quote becuase there is NO WAY Bush was running anything - no fuckin' way).
Dear Lord, little baby jesus, 6 pounds, 4 ounces, in your golden fleece diaper, asleep in your manger....PLEASE SMITE THE DINOSAUR THAT IS THE GOP!
The GOP makes me utterly SICK because they have hijacked / co-opted the easiest pickin's on the FACE of the planet - the FUNDIES. There exists NO more maleable / promptable / coercible group than the fundies. These are people who share a mindset where they believe the fucking retarded garbage sent to them in forwarded emails. Girls should STFU and pump out babies and anyone who differs from this course is a dirty fucking heathen who is going to BURN IN HELL!!
They are the people who profess to be so much fucking holier than thou, and they just LOOOOOVES their Jeebus, but yet they despise the: gays / blacks / browns / chinks / gooks / homos / trannies / beige people / people other than the people that fellate their brand of Jeebus / muslims / queers / fags / (insert fuckin' hate-filled N word here - sorry, I have my fuckin' limits) / whores / crackies / lemmings / bevis / butthead / that (insert slang term for lesbian here) talk show host. THIS is why you nauseate me, McFAIL voters. And you know who you are. And I don't mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON who votes for McFail. I just mean YOU. You, who clings to your choice of diety, but picks and chooses what you believe / adhere to / live. You, who won't shut the FUCK UP about your Xtianity, already, but hates them fags / n*ggers / etc., and OMG those fuckin' BROWN PEOPLE with the turbans!! OH Holy SHIT are they sinners who will burn in hell!!! OH YES YES YEAS!!!!! Halleluiah!
It's abhorrent, what you do. It offends every functional axon / dendrite pair in my fucking BRAIN that you cannot see the hypocracy inherent in / imbued in your cult.
YuckkkkkK!!!!
Do we still use the mighty, glorious IBM selectric? Sure, like 2 or 3 of us who write novels that we hope to someday sell, and we think it's fuckin' rad and old school and crazy to write a novel on an electric typewriter....But by and large, do I go to work and prepare patent applications, forms, etc. with a fuckin' typewriter? oh HELLLS NO!~!! (unless the power is out and I'm at work and something absolutely, positively has to get done and out - but you know, in 7 years of doing this crap, that has NEVER. Happened. Not. Once. (Course there was this one week where nothing worked - we were completely shut off from the electronic age by some virus, blah blah blah..)
Sorry - total ADD moment. Must eat now. Completely ready to fall asleep, haven't eaten today. Yargh.
(like, 15 seconds later)
Hi I'm back. John McCain ANNOYS THE SHIAT OUT OF ME. "My friends"? "Straight talk"??? Your vote for McCain is a vote AGAINST everything, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING that this nation allegedly stands for. Your vote for McCain is a vote for a continuation of the ABJECT FAIL that embodies the entire "Bush" regime (in quote becuase there is NO WAY Bush was running anything - no fuckin' way).
Dear Lord, little baby jesus, 6 pounds, 4 ounces, in your golden fleece diaper, asleep in your manger....PLEASE SMITE THE DINOSAUR THAT IS THE GOP!
The GOP makes me utterly SICK because they have hijacked / co-opted the easiest pickin's on the FACE of the planet - the FUNDIES. There exists NO more maleable / promptable / coercible group than the fundies. These are people who share a mindset where they believe the fucking retarded garbage sent to them in forwarded emails. Girls should STFU and pump out babies and anyone who differs from this course is a dirty fucking heathen who is going to BURN IN HELL!!
They are the people who profess to be so much fucking holier than thou, and they just LOOOOOVES their Jeebus, but yet they despise the: gays / blacks / browns / chinks / gooks / homos / trannies / beige people / people other than the people that fellate their brand of Jeebus / muslims / queers / fags / (insert fuckin' hate-filled N word here - sorry, I have my fuckin' limits) / whores / crackies / lemmings / bevis / butthead / that (insert slang term for lesbian here) talk show host. THIS is why you nauseate me, McFAIL voters. And you know who you are. And I don't mean EVERY SINGLE PERSON who votes for McFail. I just mean YOU. You, who clings to your choice of diety, but picks and chooses what you believe / adhere to / live. You, who won't shut the FUCK UP about your Xtianity, already, but hates them fags / n*ggers / etc., and OMG those fuckin' BROWN PEOPLE with the turbans!! OH Holy SHIT are they sinners who will burn in hell!!! OH YES YES YEAS!!!!! Halleluiah!
It's abhorrent, what you do. It offends every functional axon / dendrite pair in my fucking BRAIN that you cannot see the hypocracy inherent in / imbued in your cult.
YuckkkkkK!!!!
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I've waited nearly thirty years for this.
A message for Kristol, Cheney, Perle, Rumsfeld, Wolfowitz, Libby, and the other PNAC wackos who hi-jacked the Republican party:
It's over. Your plans for hegemony and full spectrum dominance, far from strengthening America, have almost destroyed her as an international force for good.
Likewise Rove:
The game's up. You can't fool all the people all the time with the politics of fear and smear, and the ruthless waging of culture wars.
Idem Milton Friedman (deceased) and the Chicago boys:
Your snake oil economic theories have been exposed for what they are: as a toxic mix of ideology and false accounting that benefits only the ultra rich.
Let us fervently hope that this massive defeat will consign you all to the dustbin of history.
To the American electorate:
Good job, and a great day for Uncle Sam's fair land.
wv: weerro how Neo-cons will be feeling tomorrow"